How to properly respond to rudeness? Tips for dealing with boors

Signs of an unhealthy work environment

Rudeness in a team can arise due to a negative atmosphere in the work environment. So the characteristic features include:

indifferent attitude of employees to their obligations, they simply follow instructions, do not try to establish relationships with each other;
if a clear line between work and rest has not been drawn, and there is no normal organization of the work regime, then employees will experience nervous overstrain, which will lead to irritability and nervousness, problems with self-control, and rudeness;
an envious attitude towards other people's achievements leads to the beginning of gossip behind the back of a successful colleague, which over time will develop into a rude statement in person;
rejection of newcomers, fear of new competition also causes rude treatment from old-timers;
shifting your responsibilities to other colleagues can cause aggressive behavior;
a boss who is accustomed to rude communication sets the most unhealthy example for his subordinates, and a negative psychological environment will develop in the team.

Signs of an unhealthy team

Rudeness at work in many cases is a consequence of poor management. People in a team unite into a single organism. The behavior of one employee affects the work of others. To respond to rudeness, determine the reason for its occurrence. You need to start with an analysis of the working climate.

Rudeness flourishes where business ethics are forgotten. It’s easy to identify an unhealthy team. Its main features:

Indifference of employees to work, relationships among colleagues, events in the business life of the team. It is easy to say rudeness if a person does not respect and value colleagues, subordinates or superiors. Nervousness and irritability. Appears in teams with ineffective organization of work and rest. Stress reduces the level of self-control and rudeness breaks out. Envy of other people's successes. In a group of envious people and gossipers, whispers behind your back and obvious rudeness in your face are commonplace. Rejection of new team members. Stagnation turns out to be a guarantor of stability. A new employee is a headache and a harbinger of change. It’s easier to crush a newbie with rudeness. Shifting responsibility. In case of trouble, team members blame each other, awakening aggression in their ranks. Difficult relationship with the manager. The boss sets the vector of business communication. If he is rude to his subordinates, then an unfavorable psychological situation will develop among the employees.

In such a situation, the only effective way out is to treat the team. You won’t be able to resist the crowd alone; it will demolish and crush the daredevil. If you value your job and position, you will have to accept animal laws and start strengthening your nervous system. When you have nothing to lose, act: transfer to another hotel, start looking for a new job.

Causes

A possible reason is an attempt to assert oneself at the expense of another person.
Before you think about how to respond to a boor, think about what motivates him, why he behaves this way. Let's look at the most common reasons for rude behavior.

The desire to stand out from the gray mass, to attract attention to one’s personality. It doesn’t matter to him whether they will condemn or approve of his behavior, the main thing is that they will pay attention.
A way of self-affirmation. By humiliating colleagues with rude words, a boor increases his self-esteem and feels like the strongest.
Rude behavior is a way to throw out accumulated negativity, an attempt to relieve stress. If a person once allowed himself to behave like this, you need to treat it with understanding. If he regularly fails to cope with accumulated aggression, he poses a danger to the team.
Heightened self-esteem. A person comes to the conclusion that rudeness is the norm of behavior, he does not care about the feelings of other people. He will easily walk over other people's heads and trample on the self-esteem of his colleagues.
Natural rudeness. In fact, the employee is not able to remain silent once again; he says everything directly, without thinking about the consequences.
Aggression. A person sees enemies around him and assumes that everyone is against him. He uses rude behavior to defend himself from people. This is self-defense from imaginary problems.
Inability to correctly argue your opinion, defend your position.
Fatigue, psychological reboot.
Lack of love. Such a person grows up in such an environment, perhaps facing physical violence. So a person grows up with a negative attitude towards the whole world.

Reasons for rudeness

Rudeness is rude, harsh and inappropriate behavior. Each person has his own evaluation criteria. An experienced warrior will accept a harsh remark as the norm, unlike a sensitive young lady. Before you commit rash acts, take a closer look at the rude person. Determine what hidden motives drive him.

Desire to stand out

A person suffering from attention deficit tries to win it in any way. It does not matter whether he receives support and approval, or is condemned by the team. Attention is the only goal of rude behavior.

Self-affirmation

By humiliating a person with a rude statement, a boor tries to raise low self-esteem. He perceives boorish dialogue as a battle for the right to be the strongest. The driving force of this person is an inferiority complex.

Stress

Rudeness is an outlet for tension. The nervous system wears out, self-control weakens and negativity spills over onto others. One sharp attack is not worth close attention. But a person who cannot cope with aggression constantly poses a danger to the team.

Heightened self-esteem

When self-esteem is inadequately high, rudeness becomes the norm. A narcissistic person does not take into account the norms and values of the team; he does not care about the feelings of other people. He is ready to go over his head and trample on someone else's self-esteem, without thinking about the consequences.

Natural roughness

Excessive directness of statements is often perceived as rudeness. It is customary in society to smooth over unpleasant truths and present them in a correct form. When a statement goes beyond the boundaries established by a person or society, it is perceived as rude and inappropriate.

Aggression

When a person perceives others as enemies and suspects conspiracy at every corner, he takes a defensive position. Rudeness is a way of self-defense from imaginary problems.

How to behave

Learn to resist boor

A colleague's rudeness should not be considered as your shortcoming. There is no need to take what is said personally. In fact, these are the problems of the person who behaves this way. An indicator of his bad manners and rudeness. In addition, you need to take into account the fact that the person’s mood could have been spoiled earlier, perhaps he has serious problems, and you simply fell under the hot hand.
If an employee always behaves this way, then this is his manner of behavior, communication style, an established habit. Such a person remains a boor in all areas of his life. Therefore, you should not take it personally. Treat such manifestations calmly, pretend that you don’t notice anything. But you don’t need to follow his example.
If the person is not a pathological boor, then you can try to identify the reasons for such behavior. Sometimes you can directly ask about what happened, especially if this has not been noticed before. If a colleague does not want to make contact and pour out his soul, simply reduce communication with him.
If rudeness at work takes you by surprise, you understand that you have been chosen as a whipping pillow, it is better to silently move away from the offender, pretend that you do not notice his attacks.
Sometimes during such treatment you can give the opposite reaction. They are rude to you, but you remain calm, polite and courteous, smiling back at your interlocutor. This will confuse the offender and bring him to his senses, especially if the reason is a bad mood and he did not want to offend you personally.
If a person is angry at something you did, ask for forgiveness. If this does not stop him, he has already flared up, is wound up and wants to throw out all the accumulated negativity, then you should get ahead of him by saying: “I understand you perfectly, I myself would be angry in this situation if I were in your place.” After such words, your colleague will feel awkward, and perhaps he will even apologize for wanting to be rude to you.
If the team is discussing rudeness on the part of an employee, do not participate in this, essentially, gossip. If someone complains to you about the behavior of a colleague, say that you sympathize and smoothly change the topic of conversation. Personally, never engage in such conversations.
Do not enter into an active dialogue with a rude person; it is enough to say a couple of barbs to put him in his place. Say that you had a better opinion of him.
If you see that boorish behavior is an attempt to attract attention to yourself, ignore the rude person.

How to treat a boorish boss

Let's look at the answer to the question of how to react to the rudeness of your boss, how to behave in such a situation.

If you know that a manager has such a negative trait, try to minimize communication with him. Answer all instructions briefly, so that he does not have the desire to add something, for example, “I understand everything, I will carry it out,” “You are right,” “I agree with your opinion.”
If your boss yells at you, tell him directly that you are becoming absent-minded and are not able to work efficiently under such influence.
Ask the boss to speak calmly, without unnecessary rudeness, otherwise such communication is meaningless and spoils the work process.
There is no need to try to justify your mistakes if you made a mistake. Just fix everything. Tell your boss that you understand that what you did was wrong and quickly fix this problem.
Never be rude in response, especially if your workplace is dear to you. Continue to treat your boss with respect and maintain chain of command. But you shouldn’t allow yourself to be humiliated, especially if it’s not deserved. Say directly: “Why are you raising your voice at me?”, “What did I do to deserve such an attitude?”
Do not remain silent when your manager is rude to you, otherwise he will get the impression that you can always be treated this way. Make even the slightest attempt to defend your opinion, just don’t reach the point of impudence.
Let the manager speak, do not interrupt his monologue. At this time, think through your arguments.

Boss's rudeness

Openly fighting with your boss, getting into a fight, or trying to make him laugh is not an appropriate option if you want to keep your job. Rude management stems from incompetence. Think about what motivates your leader. If he is a tyrant by nature and is accustomed to controlling any movement of his subordinates, not allowing anyone to say a word against him, it will not be possible to fight him openly. Public actions are especially dangerous.

A common cause of rudeness is misunderstanding or incompetence of the employee.

How to prevent rudeness in a team

If you are new to the office, try to join the team

The best answer to the question of how to deal with rudeness is to prevent it. Let's look at how this can be achieved.

If you are a new person in the team, immediately make it clear that you cannot be treated like a doormat. Be friendly, but don't allow yourself to be offended.
Don't show weakness. It is important that your colleagues do not notice your lack of self-confidence. Don't let boors hurt your pride. Increase your self-esteem regularly.
In response to rudeness, smile, express yourself monotonously, but loud enough to be heard.
Don't forget about social significance in your team. Maintain subordination; you should not establish friendly relations with a person of higher rank.
Show yourself as a highly qualified specialist. If you are a beginner, let everyone know that you are a professional in your field.
Try not to stand out from the crowd. Do not provoke people to show negative emotions towards you.

Now you know how to resist rudeness. Remember that first of all you need to identify the reason for such behavior of a colleague and try to understand his state of mind. Do not forget that rude statements should not be taken to heart; most likely, you simply found yourself at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and the employee has nothing against you personally. Save your face, do not give in to the temptation to repay your colleague with his own coin.