My wife won't give me a divorce, what should I do?

Grounds and methods of divorce

It is immediately worth considering that the dissolution of a marital marriage in the registry office is possible only in the absence of common minor children and with the consent of the wife. However, there are several cases when they do not need to enlist, and they are indicated in Art. 19 IC RF:

If the wife is sentenced to punishment for a crime for a term of 3 years or more;
If the wife has lost her legal capacity or is considered missing.

It is logical to assume that in the above cases the wife’s consent is most often impossible to obtain, therefore, at the legislative level, a simplified divorce by a citizen in such situations is provided for. People ask for advice on such issues very often, but the answer will always be the same: it is enough to get a copy of the verdict or decision to terminate everything without going to court.

Consultations on divorce

During consultations, clients often ask whether it is possible to get a divorce through the registry office without obtaining the wife’s consent, and the answer here is negative. The fact is that this body considers only divorce issues in the absence of any disputes.

When dissolution of an officially concluded marriage is impossible

Art. 17 of the RF IC limits the right of men to present demands for the dissolution of a marriage previously formalized by spouses without the consent of the wife in several cases:

If the spouse is pregnant;
If the spouse gave birth to a common child less than 1 year ago.

If the wife agrees, the parties will in any case have to go to the courts, because here we are talking about the interests of the children. The exception is the above cases, when the spouse is in prison, has been absent for more than one year and has disappeared in an unknown direction, or is incapacitated: here the presence or absence of young children does not matter.

What can a man do to save his family?

If the husband does not want to destroy the relationship and lose the woman he loves, then he should not sit idly by. Since the wife has filed for divorce, it’s time to take decisive action...

What you need to change in yourself

If a man, when his wife wants to divorce, does not understand what to do, the advice of a psychologist will help. The main recommendation is to work on yourself.

Remember, at the beginning of the relationship the spouse was happy with everything? Answer yourself honestly, was your behavior different? If so, then it is necessary to look at the areas that failed . In each case, the problems are individual, but you should work on the most common causes of marriage breakdown:

Surround the woman with care and attention. Perhaps you have stopped trying for your loved one. Give compliments, invite them to restaurants, for walks, give gifts.
Divide household responsibilities. Help your spouse around the house, wash the dishes, buy groceries. Do the best you can. She will be very pleased if you prepare dinner, sit with the children, and at this time let her rest. The best option would be to hire a housekeeper, which is especially important if your loved one works or takes care of children.

Become a man. Give your beloved the opportunity to feel protected and weak. If your family had financial difficulties, then find another job. In addition, do not forget about nice gifts.
When a couple has children, disagreements over parenting may also cause the wife to want a divorce. In this case, you need to use the advice of a psychologist to agree on a general system of education. If you are not involved in the lives of your children, give them attention and care, show your spouse that you can be relied upon.

READ

How to return your husband to your family: tips and methods for returning

How to melt your loved one's heart

It's time to use the heavy artillery. Women are emotional people, so the best way to achieve reconciliation is to make your spouse fall in love with you again . You need to become an insidious seducer:

Get yourself in order, change your image, go in for sports. A confident man will be able to arouse his wife's interest.
Give unexpected surprises. This could be a serenade, a flash mob, recognition on a billboard or on a page on a social network.
Fulfillment of desires. To win the heart of your beloved wife, you need to remember what she dreamed of and realize what she wanted. Maybe she wanted a fur coat, a bouquet of 100 roses, or a trip to Paris. If you show that you know her dreams, then she will again see you as a close and dear man.

Methods of manipulation

Each partner knows the weak points of their other half. If your wife wants a divorce, but you don’t, then you need to influence her with tricks:

Through children. You need to set up the child, let him demand that mom and dad be together. To do this, you need to spend more time with him and be sad about parting. A more severe way of manipulation is the threat that you will sue the children and your spouse will not be able to give them anything. But such threats will not help make peace with your wife.
Press for pity. This behavior should be used if the girl has a soft character. You need to convince her that you have nowhere to go, you can’t imagine life without her, everything falls out of your hands.
Make her feel guilty. Any person is imperfect, so you can find flaws in him. If you convince a woman that no one needs her except you, then perhaps she will change her mind about getting a divorce out of fear of loneliness.

Please note that manipulation is a temporary solution to preserving a marriage, since without changes in the spouses, divorce is inevitable.

Divorce by a citizen in court

Most often, a spouse's dissolution of an existing marriage is effective through the court if the wife's consent is not obtained or there are common children. Let's consider several possible scenarios when people seek advice and subsequently file lawsuits in the courts:

The wife's consent has been obtained and they have children together. Here, in any case, you will have to come to the judicial authority, because... the interests of the child are affected in the procedure. Guardianship authorities are also involved: if there is no preliminary agreement on determining the place of residence of the minor, this issue will be resolved at a meeting;
There is no wife's consent, but there are no children together. The Civil Registry Office only considers petitions for dissolution of family ties by mutual consent. If it is not there, you should submit documents to the court. A conciliation period may be appointed at the request of the wife or her lawyer.

Important! In divorce proceedings, where one of the spouses is against separation, a conciliation period is usually assigned - up to three months. It can be given either completely at once or in parts. If, after the expiration of the reconciliation period, the plaintiff still continues to insist on separation, the claims must be satisfied.

Step-by-step instruction

A claim is drawn up and a full set of documentation is collected.
Documents are submitted to the court at the defendant’s residential address. If the plaintiff has minor children, he has the right to independently choose territorial jurisdiction and apply at his residence address.
The judge accepts the application for proceedings and issues an appropriate ruling within 5 days. The parties are invited to a preliminary hearing, during which additional documents may be requested.
The proceedings can last several months: if the wife files a petition for reconciliation, this will further increase the time frame. If, at the end of the reconciliation period, the plaintiff insists on dissolution of the marriage, the demands are satisfied.
A court decision is made. It gains legal force after a month: this time is given to the parties to challenge it. If an appeal is not filed, it comes into force and the plaintiff can come to court for a copy.

A certified copy is provided to the registry office at any time. Former spouses do not need to come together to receive the certificate. The document is issued immediately on the day of application, but you will have to wait from 15 minutes to 1 hour, depending on the workload of the government agency.

In order not to wait your turn and to receive a divorce document without the consent of your ex-wife as quickly as possible, it is recommended to make an appointment through State Services. In addition, when submitting documents in this way, a discount on state fees is provided.

Documentation

The list of documentation for a husband’s divorce without the wife’s prior consent depends on the number of claims. If you only want to get a divorce without dividing property and disputes about children, you will need:

How to file a claim correctly

A claim for dissolution of a marriage entered into by spouses without the consent of one of them must comply with the requirements of Art. 131 Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation and contain the following information:

Name of the court where it is filed;
Full name, place of residence of the plaintiff;
Full name of the defendant;
Telephone numbers of the parties (if possible);
Date of marriage;
Information about children: full name, date of birth;
Request for dissolution of a previously concluded marriage with a spouse;
Signature of the initiator;
List of attached documents;
Causes.

It is worth paying special attention to the reasons. By law, the applicant is not required to indicate them, but in practice, all divorce cases are considered taking into account the factors that contributed to the reluctance to save the family.

Divorce proceedings in the presence of children. How can a husband prevent divorce?

The judicial authorities provide for individual consideration of the divorce decision, but first of all, the rights of the child will be taken into account. Therefore, in most cases, the court decides to postpone the divorce process for reconciliation. This is worth taking advantage of if the wife files for divorce and the husband is against it. When the wife draws up a statement of claim, the court will not take into account emotional reasons, but only facts with evidence.

USEFUL INFORMATION: Causes of divorce in Russia: statistics

If a couple has children over 1 year old, the wife can obtain a divorce certificate without compelling reasons if she has permission from her spouse and in the absence of legal disputes about the division of property.

If there are disagreements about living and financing children or there is a division of property, a divorce certificate can only be obtained after the disputes are resolved.

The divorce process with the division of property and other nuances can take from several months to several years. If the husband is against divorce, the time provided is worth taking advantage of to resolve differences and save the family.

Currently, many lawsuits have been recorded where spouses share not only property, but also the right of residence for children with one of them. In most cases, the court leaves the children with the mother, but if she is unable to provide for the child financially or leads an immoral lifestyle, the court may issue an order for the children to live with the father. In any case, the judge takes into account the interests of the children, as well as the arguments of the spouses indicated in the statements of claim. It may take some time to process your divorce petition and your request for your children to live with you. This factor, as a last resort, can be used to delay obtaining a divorce.

The fact that the husband does not appear at the divorce proceedings can also serve as a basis for increasing the period until the legal dissolution of the marriage.

Important! If the husband fails to attend court for the third time, the decision is made in favor of the wife, however, subject to the absence of small children and other legally justified reasons.

If the spouse appears in court and confirms his disagreement with the wife’s decision, the court has the right to grant a deferment for reconciliation for a period of three months.

Reasons for divorce without prior consent from the wife

During consultations, people are often asked what reason to indicate in the application for divorce without the consent of the spouse. It is important that it corresponds to the real state of affairs. All reasons are divided into several categories:

Personal: loss of love, trust, respect. According to Art. 1 of the RF IC, the family should exist precisely on the basis of these principles;
Household: drug addiction, alcoholism of the spouse, constant scandals and fights. It is recommended to attach to the general package of documents certificates confirming the existence of such facts;
Material: despite the fact that by law spouses are required to support each other financially, there are limits to everything. If the wife does not work without good reason, and the family needs money, this can also be indicated as a reason;
Cheating on your wife. Everything is clear here: the law does not oblige spouses to remain faithful to each other, but in practice, infidelity has a negative impact on relationships and logically leads to loss of trust and separation.

Note! If you indicate a reason in a claim that does not correspond to reality, it will still be considered in civil proceedings and a decision will be made on it. However, it is better to refer to the real factors that contributed to the decision to immediately dissolve the marriage.

Legal consultation

To submit an application in the form of a claim without any problems, you will have to pay a state fee of 650 rubles. After the decision is made and becomes valid, a similar fee is paid when applying to the registry office to obtain a document on the official separation.

If documentation is submitted to the registry office through “State Services”, a discount is provided, and instead of 650 rubles. you only need to pay 455 rubles.

Issues resolved during the consultation

If, in addition to the dissolution of a marital marriage without the consent of your wife, you want to resolve additional issues in court, you can get advice from MIP specialists. Additional claims may be considered within the framework of one civil proceeding:

On the collection of alimony payments;
On determining the place of residence of a minor.

Also in the claim you can indicate a requirement to deprive the wife of parental rights, to determine the order of communication with the child, etc. Let’s consider all the nuances in more detail.

Consultation on the collection of alimony

If the child remains with you, you can collect alimony from your wife for his maintenance:

As a share of salary: 25% for one, 33% for two, 50% for three or more;
In a fixed amount: if the spouse does not have official earnings or she receives a salary in foreign currency. The amount of payments is established by the court depending on the subsistence level;
In a mixed amount: if the wife has an official income, but in addition she receives earnings in a variable amount. In this case, she will pay a set share from her salary, and a fixed amount from her changing income.

If you want to file for divorce, but the children remain with your wife, the issue of alimony will be resolved when she presents a counterclaim.

Consultation on leaving a child with one of the parents

The rights of parents in relation to common children are the same, so if you wish, you can keep them for yourself, and your wife will pay alimony. To do this, you need to reflect in the application for divorce without her consent the requirement to leave the minors with you.

What factors will be taken into account by the court when considering the case:

Financial and property status of the parties. If you earn more, you have your own home, and your wife has none of this, the chances of leaving the children with you increase, but this does not guarantee a decision will be made in your favor 100%;
The children's relationship with each parent;
Opinion of children over 10 years old. This is what is most often decisive.

The court may also take into account a number of other circumstances. You can get details and possible options for the development of events in your case at a consultation with lawyers specializing in issues of divorce, both by mutual desire and without the consent of the wife or husband.

Author of the article

Kuznetsov Fedor Nikolaevich

More than 15 years of experience in the legal field; Specialization - resolution of family disputes, inheritance, property transactions, disputes over consumer rights, criminal cases, arbitration processes.

Additional requirements for divorcing your wife

If the term of divorce through the court is not important for you, you can specify additional requirements in the claim - about the division of property, about determining the place of residence and the procedure for communicating with children, about collecting alimony (if the child stays with you, and the woman does not want to allocate money for him) . The wife may make the same demands, even if you yourself did not indicate them in the statement of claim.

Joint property: how not to be left empty-handed

Russian legislation prohibits depriving one of the spouses of all property. The RF IC stipulates the rule on equal rights and obligations of both spouses, including on joint assets. The court is obliged to divide all property equally, and an increase or decrease in the size of shares is allowed if it is necessary in the interests of the child. Read more about the features of the division of personal property in our previous material.

Find out more How to get a divorce if you have minor children

Communication with children

If during a divorce you ask to determine the order of communication with your child, the claim will have to be filed in the district court. This will automatically delay the divorce period. Therefore, I recommend getting a divorce first and then resolving the dispute about the children. You can go to court to determine the order of communication with a child at any time until he turns 18 years old.

Alimony

During a divorce, you can demand the recovery of alimony for a child or for a spouse. In favor of the children, alimony can be collected by the parent who is actually involved in the upbringing and maintenance of minors. You can demand alimony from your wife:

if during the marriage or within a year after the divorce, incapacity for work occurred, and the ex-wife has the opportunity to pay money for maintenance;
if the man reached retirement age within 5 years after the divorce, needs help, and the marriage was long-term;
if the ex-husband is caring for a disabled child.

As in the case of the division of property, I recommend asking for alimony in a separate claim or application for a court order. This will speed up the process of divorcing your wife as much as possible.